Diary of a mad, middle-aged bride

1. The panic sets in

Yes, here I am, about to embark on the course of holy matrimony in just two months.

People ask me if I'm excited. I am, in a contained way. We've had a few months to settle into our engagement, and the wedding was far off enough to not get hyped up about. The true knee-knocking excitement will set in around the first of March, I think.

Yet, a burble of thrill bubbles up through my mind at times. I know that I am truly blessed.

In the meantime, my friends are going into overdrive of hyped-up activity. I'm going to have the mother of all showers, I think, thanks to my dear friend Coe who is in her element and on a mission to create the bridal shower of the century.

Of course, all this means I'm being peppered with all sorts of questions — music, theme, colors and guest list. Do I prefer this or that? Exactly WHAT SHADES of cream, gold and green do I have in mind, my future sister-in-law wants to know. She wants to get to work on the dress for her daughter, who will be flower girl at the wedding (and the most gorgeous one ever — she's a doll).

The only response I can muster to most of these questions is a look of stupidity and an "uhhhh.... I dunno."

I finally got the shower guest list together, mostly. I'm going to have to add a few names of people I didn't think of to put on the original list.

Ah, but all these wonderful people. I'm amazed. My friends, my future family members who are welcoming me with open arms.

I'm truly blessed, if a little unhinged.