Monday, January 15, 2007

The cruelest months



I've been thinking about my foul mood of the other day. (See entry of Saturday; thanks to the gang at MadPriest's for sending hugs and prayers.)

This is the crummiest time of year for me. Maybe there's some SAD (seasonal affective disorder) going on. But it's the time of year of several significant losses and other bad things.

Maybe Father J leaving is adding to it. Intellectually, I know it isn't, but that little girl inside me isn't happy at this abandonment.

I have detailed images stored in my memory of the appearance of snow blanketing the ground, and the way the light hit it, as my father fought his final battle with cancer. Memory is a strange thing.

I've been making a mental list of the good things that happened this time of year. And refleccting on the bad stuff, I see the good things that later came from it.

And spring is just around the corner.

1 comment:

Share Cropper said...

Pat, I think we have body memory about certain times of the year when sad things have happened. And, you're doing a great thing by making a mental list of all the good things that have come of it or happened at the same time. Bless you.